Section Fourteen

 

Grammar?  Spelling?  POV?  Proper tense?  Who cares!

 

The Fiction’s Composition and Formatting

 

Total points: 2200

 

All right, this section simply had to be included.  Some of the fics that may score high here are classified simply as bad fiction, not Sues.  Some of the questions are merely here because they include traits that, while relatively harmless in and of themselves, are earmarks of Sue fiction.  Reasons for placing these questions here are described in fuller detail.

 

1.            Is the story mainly told from first person point of view? (+50)

            Bonus:   +100 if it always “talks” like a valley girl or as if the reader is your best friend

 

First person POV stories are have the capacity to be somewhat annoying, because they have a chance for the author to write about how much despair, happiness, and/or fear the character is going through.  Moreover, the HP series is not written in first person.  However, it’s not illegal, and it is possible to create a very good story in first person POV.  However…speaking in the language of cheerleaders, or always having buddy-buddy conversations with the reader is NOT allowed.  The story will be, without a doubt or any exceptions, annoying and boring.  The reader does not know you, and is not interested in your personal opinion, nor are they interested in hearing how, like, everyone is, like totally having so much, like, FUN with your, like, totally amazing and hot character.

 

2.          Is the story told in third person, but mostly from your character’s point of view? (+50)

 

Again, not severe at all.  I mean, J.K.’s books are third person from Harry’s POV.  However, so many authors have a tendency to switch the focus off Harry and onto their own characters and write up, you guessed it, Mary Sues.  So be careful.

 

3.          Even if it is in third person, do you still talk as if the reader is your best friend in sections of the story (Ex.: He continued to insult her.  This guy has a death wish, doesn’t he?)? (+100)

 

Now this is just irritating.  Once again, the reader does not know you and cannot answer your questions when you ask them.  Any good fic should flow like a book, and books don’t read like conversations with the reader.  Just keep yourself out of the story, and you’ll stay away from self-insertion.

 

4.          Do you change tense often? (+50)

 

This is painful for readers.  When you go from past, to present, to future all in one sentence, not only is it hard to read, but it’s also just incorrect.  So don’t go around writing “She had a deep dark secret, but is not telling anyone.”

 

5.          Is your fic told entirely in present tense? (+100)

 

This one is bad simply because it’s nearly impossible to do.  You cannot write something in present tense!  The fic isn’t flowing at all when you do it.  Keep to past participles unless you’ve had practice at this. 

 

6.          Do you often change point-of-view with no delineation between? (+50)

 

This is equally as irritating as the verb-tense shifts.  It’s okay to tell a story from multiple points of view, as long as you make it clear as to who is speaking/thinking.  It is NOT okay to have your character saying what she thinks, then writing in all the canon characters thinking how much they agree or disagree with her.  It does no good to write a story where the readers have no idea who is speaking at the moment.  If you absolutely have to include a POV shift, be very clear as to whom you are referring (e.g., Ron in the troll scene).

 

7.          Do you write in internet speak/lingo? (+100)

 

This is just a flat out NO.  Absolutely NO ONE will be able to read your fic, simply because it is illegible.   Not only that, it is the classic sign of the Mary Sue.  You’re trying to show how well you speak on the computer, and how you are good at using it.  Or it is a symptom of your belief that you need to use it so you can write quickly and condense all your material as much as possible so you can get to the meat of your Sue.  Well, people do not talk like that and never will.  Don’t go around making people say “cuz” and “OMG.”   Don’t EVER do this.

 

8.          Do you have a lot of grammar, punctuation, formatting (HTML), and spelling mistakes? (+50)

 

Beta readers!  Just get one, okay?  You have absolutely NO excuse to have lots of these mistakes, and plus, when you have them, everything is jumbled and no one can understand you. 

 

9.          Do you have so many mistakes because your story is too good and too perfect in your opinion to get a beta reader? (+50)

 

Classic Sue-ism.  You’re so in love with your story, you think that anyone who tries to criticize it will be one of those who simply doesn’t understand the fic, so you don’t ask anyone.  Don’t do that.  No one’s story is perfect, okay?  Even J.K. gets run though the wringer by her editors.

 

10.      Or do you have them because you hate criticism in any shape or form? (+100)

 

Even more classic Sue-ism.  Criticism is NOT a personal insult, okay?  It’s an attempt to show you what is wrong with your fic and an attempt to perfect it.  That’s all.  And people who write Mary Sues and don’t want them beta-ed is a surefire sign that they are just too sensitive to have to listen to someone tell them that the fic is crap.  Just get a beta reader, okay?  And make sure it’s a good one.  Whether you like it or not.  Don’t torture your readers.

 

11.       Do you know what a beta reader is? (if no, +100)

 

Here’s a definition:  Beta readers read over a fic, critique it, then slash it to ribbons and bleed all over it with a red pen, pointing out plot holes, grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes, OOC-ness, poor wording, badly though-out ideas, and, naturally, Mary Sue-ness.  Now you know.  So get one.

 

12.      Are all your chapters short and essentially one big paragraph? (+50)

 

BAD.  It’s highly annoying when speech begins slurring into itself.  And a paragraph doesn’t have enough room to further your story and should not be considered an individual chapter by itself.

 

13.      Are the chapters long and essentially one big paragraph or several big paragraphs? (+100)

 

This one’s even worse.  When it’s short, you can get through it faster.  When it’s long, all it is is torture.

 

14.      Do the chapters have paragraph breaks after every few sentences, or every sentence? (+100)

 

While not nearly as bad as the above, it’s just bad writing.  A paragraph is not one sentence, nor is it a couple of short sentences.  Don’t do either of these—they’re not good writing, and people usually have trouble reading the stories that use this formatting.

 

15.      Do the chapters alternate between no paragraph breaks and lots of paragraph breaks? (+200)

 

Gah!  This is nightmarish.  To have one chapter a huge paragraph, the next individual sentences is torture!  If you must use them, please stick to one!  And we’ve already discussed why they’re bad.

 

16.      Do you speak in internet lingo in your author’s notes? (+50)

 

Author’s notes serve a purpose to maybe give a small preview of the chapter, or give warning that it is disturbing or give notice of a rating change.  You know, just in case you’re readers are trodding along through the fic and don’t really want to read sex scenes.  You can warn them.  They’re also to serve for disclaimers.  NORMAL PEOPLE CANNOT READ THEM WHEN THEY ARE IN INTERNET LINGO.  And they don’t WANT to read them.  More often than not, when an author speaks that in an A/N, they wind up rambling mindlessly and thinking it is oh so hilarious.  Well, it’s not.  It’s irritating.

 

17.      Are many of your author’s notes long descriptions of the problems you’ve been having at home or with school, so that is why you could not post the next chapter? (+50)

 

No one cares, okay?  All they want to do is read the story.

 

18.      Are many of your author’s notes long descriptions of how great the previous chapter was and/or how the next one is going to just drive you crazy with cliffhangers? (+100)

 

Nor does anyone care how much you love your own story, and plus, if you spend all your time praising your character and story, what do you think that sounds like?

 

19.      Are any of your author’s notes long descriptions of how mean some people are because they are saying bad things about your fic? (+200)

 

Once again, constructive crit is a GOOD thing.  And if someone says something doesn’t make sense, LISTEN TO THEM!!  Chances are they will be correct and you may need to fix it. 

 

20.    Do you have long author’s notes because you insert mass answering of questions you’ve received in your reviews, or simply because you want to say hello to some of your reviewers? (+100)

            Bonus:   +50 if all your fans have names like Potter’s Sister, Snape’s Niece, and Glittery Girl

                        +100 if all your fans speak in internet lingo

 

This is the ultimate warning that you’ve written a Sue.  All you are doing when you do stuff like that is show off to the world how much THESE people like your fic, so all those who DON’T like it need to go away.  Well, guess what?  In doing that all you’re doing is waving a flag that you are a Sue.  And you’re waving an even bigger one if they’re all named like listed above.  Classic Sue names in themselves.  Classic self-insertion and wishful thinking.  And you know how much internet lingo irritates people.

 

21.      Have you devoted entire chapters to author’s notes? (+200)

 

NO ONE CARES, okay?  They really don’t.

 

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