Section Fourteen
Grammar?
Spelling? POV? Proper tense? Who cares!
The Fiction’s Composition and Formatting
All right, this section simply
had to be included. Some of the fics
that may score high here are classified simply as bad fiction, not Sues. Some of the questions are merely here
because they include traits that, while relatively harmless in and of
themselves, are earmarks of Sue fiction.
Reasons for placing these questions here are described in fuller detail.
1.
Is the story mainly told from first
person point of view? (+50)
First person POV stories are
have the capacity to be somewhat annoying, because they have a chance for the
author to write about how much despair, happiness, and/or fear the character is
going through. Moreover, the HP
series is not written in first person.
However, it’s not illegal, and it is possible to create a very good
story in first person POV.
However…speaking in the language of cheerleaders, or always having
buddy-buddy conversations with the reader is NOT allowed. The story will be, without a doubt or
any exceptions, annoying and boring.
The reader does not know you, and is not interested in your personal
opinion, nor are they interested in hearing how, like, everyone is, like
totally having so much, like, FUN with your, like, totally amazing and hot
character.
2.
Is the story told in third person,
but mostly from your character’s point of view? (+50)
Again, not severe at all. I mean, J.K.’s books are third person
from Harry’s POV. However, so many
authors have a tendency to switch the focus off Harry and onto their own
characters and write up, you guessed it, Mary Sues. So be careful.
3.
Even if it is in third person, do
you still talk as if the reader is your best friend in sections of the story
(Ex.: He continued to insult her.
This guy has a death wish, doesn’t he?)? (+100)
Now this is just
irritating. Once again, the reader
does not know you and cannot answer your questions when you ask them. Any good fic should flow like a book,
and books don’t read like conversations with the reader. Just keep yourself out of the story,
and you’ll stay away from self-insertion.
4.
Do you change tense often? (+50)
This is painful for
readers. When you go from past, to
present, to future all in one sentence, not only is it hard to read, but it’s
also just incorrect. So don’t go
around writing “She had a deep dark secret, but is not telling anyone.”
5.
Is your fic told entirely in present
tense? (+100)
This one is bad simply because
it’s nearly impossible to do. You
cannot write something in present tense!
The fic isn’t flowing at all when you do it. Keep to past participles unless you’ve had practice at
this.
6.
Do you often change point-of-view
with no delineation between? (+50)
This is equally as irritating
as the verb-tense shifts. It’s
okay to tell a story from multiple points of view, as long as you make it clear
as to who is speaking/thinking. It
is NOT okay to have your character saying what she thinks, then writing in all
the canon characters thinking how much they agree or disagree with her. It does no good to write a story where
the readers have no idea who is speaking at the moment. If you absolutely have to include a POV
shift, be very clear as to whom you are referring (e.g., Ron in the troll
scene).
7.
Do you write in internet
speak/lingo? (+100)
This is just a flat out
NO. Absolutely NO ONE will be able
to read your fic, simply because it is illegible. Not only that, it is the classic sign of the Mary
Sue. You’re trying to show how
well you speak on the computer, and how you are good at using it. Or it is a symptom of your belief that
you need to use it so you can write quickly and condense all your material as
much as possible so you can get to the meat of your Sue. Well, people do not talk like that and
never will. Don’t go around making
people say “cuz” and “OMG.”
Don’t EVER do this.
8.
Do you have a lot of grammar,
punctuation, formatting (HTML), and spelling mistakes? (+50)
Beta readers! Just get one, okay? You have absolutely NO excuse to have
lots of these mistakes, and plus, when you have them, everything is jumbled and
no one can understand you.
9.
Do you have so many mistakes because
your story is too good and too perfect in your opinion to get a beta reader?
(+50)
Classic Sue-ism. You’re so in love with your story, you
think that anyone who tries to criticize it will be one of those who simply
doesn’t understand the fic, so you don’t ask anyone. Don’t do that.
No one’s story is perfect, okay?
Even J.K. gets run though the wringer by her editors.
10.
Or do you have them because you hate
criticism in any shape or form? (+100)
Even more classic Sue-ism. Criticism is NOT a personal insult,
okay? It’s an attempt to show you
what is wrong with your fic and an attempt to perfect it. That’s all. And people who write Mary Sues and don’t want them beta-ed is
a surefire sign that they are just too sensitive to have to listen to someone
tell them that the fic is crap.
Just get a beta reader, okay?
And make sure it’s a good one.
Whether you like it or not.
Don’t torture your readers.
11.
Do you know what a beta reader is?
(if no, +100)
Here’s a definition: Beta readers read over a fic, critique
it, then slash it to ribbons and bleed all over it with a red pen, pointing out
plot holes, grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes, OOC-ness, poor
wording, badly though-out ideas, and, naturally, Mary Sue-ness. Now you know. So get one.
12.
Are all your chapters short and
essentially one big paragraph? (+50)
BAD. It’s highly annoying when speech begins slurring into
itself. And a paragraph doesn’t
have enough room to further your story and should not be considered an
individual chapter by itself.
13.
Are the chapters long and
essentially one big paragraph or several big paragraphs? (+100)
This one’s even worse. When it’s short, you can get through it
faster. When it’s long, all it is
is torture.
14.
Do the chapters have paragraph
breaks after every few sentences, or every sentence? (+100)
While not nearly as bad as the
above, it’s just bad writing. A
paragraph is not one sentence, nor is it a couple of short sentences. Don’t do either of these—they’re not
good writing, and people usually have trouble reading the stories that use this
formatting.
15.
Do the chapters alternate between no
paragraph breaks and lots of paragraph breaks? (+200)
Gah! This is nightmarish.
To have one chapter a huge paragraph, the next individual sentences is
torture! If you must use them,
please stick to one! And we’ve
already discussed why they’re bad.
16.
Do you speak in internet lingo in
your author’s notes? (+50)
Author’s notes serve a purpose
to maybe give a small preview of the chapter, or give warning that it is
disturbing or give notice of a rating change. You know, just in case you’re readers are trodding along
through the fic and don’t really want to read sex scenes. You can warn them. They’re also to serve for
disclaimers. NORMAL PEOPLE CANNOT
READ THEM WHEN THEY ARE IN INTERNET LINGO. And they don’t WANT to read them. More often than not, when an author speaks that in an A/N,
they wind up rambling mindlessly and thinking it is oh so hilarious. Well, it’s not. It’s irritating.
17.
Are many of your author’s notes long
descriptions of the problems you’ve been having at home or with school, so that
is why you could not post the next chapter? (+50)
No one cares, okay? All they want to do is read the story.
18.
Are many of your author’s notes long
descriptions of how great the previous chapter was and/or how the next one is
going to just drive you crazy with cliffhangers? (+100)
Nor does anyone care how much
you love your own story, and plus, if you spend all your time praising your
character and story, what do you think that sounds like?
19.
Are any of your author’s
notes long descriptions of how mean some people are because they are saying bad
things about your fic? (+200)
Once again, constructive crit
is a GOOD thing. And if someone
says something doesn’t make sense, LISTEN TO THEM!! Chances are they will be correct and you may need to fix
it.
20.
Do you have long author’s notes
because you insert mass answering of questions you’ve received in your reviews,
or simply because you want to say hello to some of your reviewers? (+100)
This is the ultimate warning
that you’ve written a Sue. All you
are doing when you do stuff like that is show off to the world how much THESE
people like your fic, so all those who DON’T like it need to go away. Well, guess what? In doing that all you’re doing is
waving a flag that you are a Sue.
And you’re waving an even bigger one if they’re all named like listed
above. Classic Sue names in
themselves. Classic self-insertion
and wishful thinking. And you know
how much internet lingo irritates people.
21.
Have you devoted entire chapters
to author’s notes? (+200)
NO ONE CARES, okay? They really don’t.
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