Section Seven
The Demon-Angel Sue-Per powerful hybrid. Don’t make the Sue angry. You won’t like her when she’s angry.
The Character’s Special Abilities
This section is high on points simply because many of these questions
are so unlikely that a story using them will properly relate to canon. If your character is good, you will
score absolutely nothing on this.
At max a 100. So don’t fret
on this one if you’re confident about your character. If not, beware.
You could easily get over 4000.
1.
Is the character a shape-shifter (as
in a character that can change into animals or mythical beasts at will—numerous
times)? (+500)
Come on now, guys. J.K. has never mentioned this sort of
thing, and it seems unlikely that she ever will. Stick to things in canon—this is just silly.
2.
Does your character have mental
powers? (+100)
Again, this one us just dumb
and not in keeping with canon. Not
only that, but we are sorry to inform you that no, you are not unique in using
it—this is one of the oldest Sue-tricks in the book, especially with that
Empathy bit—that is the single most common Sue-per power out there.
3.
Is your character a Healer or can
she Heal others due unconventional abilities (not in the sense of a wizarding
“doctor”)? (+300)
This one must be mentioned because,
not only is it calling attention to one of those stupid abilities that have no
place in J.K.’s universe, it is also horrendously overused. Mary Sue authors love to make their
characters healers in some capacity so the readers can see how wonderful and
compassionate and noble and selfless their characters are. Give it a rest and us a break.
4.
Can your character do intentional,
controlled wandless magic? (+500)
This one gets a high score simply
because J.K. herself has said that THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN. So, by definition of being a denizen of
the HP universe, your character can’t either. So—no.
5.
Can your character talk to all
animals of all shapes, sizes and species (YES, THE ONES IN THE DARK FOREST
COUNT)? (+100)
This one is just too syrupy to be
tolerated. People can be good with
animals, but they don’t talk to them. There are some creatures in J.K. universe that can talk, but
all non-magical creatures are just the same as they always have been in
reality, and no, people can’t talk to them (except for snakes). And as for the ones in the Dark Forest,
they really aren’t all that hospitable, so an Acromantula wouldn’t just welcome
your character in for a chat over tea.
6.
Does your character have
super-powers that come from another fictional universe and the story is not a
crossover? (+500)
Crossovers are bad enough—but
ripping off powers from other universes is just intolerable. And if you have that One Ring, you are
just ABSOLUTELY STUPID. That thing
is manipulative and EVIL, not to mention the fact that it was DESTROYED. Leave it in Mount Doom, where it
belongs.
7.
Does your character manipulate the
elements? (+200)
No. The weather bows to no one. Especially not your character. Fire burns whatever it wants. Ice can’t magically appear on a hot summer day. The Earth does not revolve around your
character. There are spells to
make fire and water and all that, but manipulating the elements is not an
innate ability that we have seen in the HP universe. Just…don’t do that.
8.
Can your character summon spirits,
spirit animals, familiars, demons, or other creatures related to summoning?
(+300)
This is NOT CANON. Yes, witches and wizards can summon
things. The spell is Accio. They do not summon spirit wolves to
fight their enemies, nor to they summon demons to do battle for them!! This is simply ridiculous, and you
should not ever use this. It’s
just…dumb.
9.
Does your character have super
strength? (+100)
There is no precedence for this
sort of thing, and therefore it will not make any sense. Don’t.
10.
Can you character fly without any
sort of aid, magical or otherwise (wings count)? (+500)
Again, this is totally
unprecedented and therefore a violation of canon—which means it’s a big
no-no. Avoid it.
11.
Does your character discover her
unusual powers in the course of the story and, after about a month, become
instantly the world’s greatest expert in usage and history of said power?
(+300)
Come on, guys! Any ability—magical or otherwise—takes
years of cultivation and practice!
Realism is the key to any good character!
12.
Does your character openly abuse said
powers to whip up on her petty enemies (i.e. people who tease her, rather than,
say, using them on Voldemort) or to otherwise get her puny way? (+300)
Sigh. We know that when someone hacks us off we would just love to
pull some Jedi knight action on their sorry ass. We indulge in the fantasy for a split second, and then move
on. Face it—it isn’t going to
happen. Moreover, if someone has
abilities that are unusual and powerful, they hold the potential to seriously
hurt someone, and therefore must at least follow some sort of code of honor
when it comes to using them. And
come on—if Malfoy shows up and starts picking on your character, and she
responds with some sort of mind-blast that puts him in a coma for a week, do
you really think she isn’t going to be punished?!
13.
Is your character a species other
than human? (+200)
Really, now. It has been pretty well established in
canon that most magical beings run among their own kind—they don’t have too
much contact with humans. As such,
they won’t really mingle well with the decidedly human characters that populate
J.K.’s world. Yes, there can be
exceptions to this (like Firenze), but you should be careful and don’t go
overboard.
Mary Sues love to make their
characters werewolves, not taking into account that most Wizards hate
werewolves and that they can hardly get jobs and don’t have many friends—or
they do take this into account, and use it for angst and a way to get into
everyone’s FAVORITE werewolf’s pants.
Please keep in mind that werewolves are NOT romantic creatures. They’re scavengers, they’re reviled by
the wizarding world, and a goodly portion of them are quite insane and follow
the most hideous werewolf of them all—Fenrir Greyback. They want to kill everyone else. In short, if you’re going to make your
character a werewolf, do it in the spirit of the HP universe. Oh, and Remus is taken. He’s not going to shag your character
just because she feels his pain.
However, the most common Mary
Sue in this particular venue is the Mary Sue vampire. Classic vampires are immortal, super strong, often assumed
to have unearthly beauty…you get the picture—they have all those things that we
would like to have. However,
people tend to forget that they are also blood-sucking Dark creatures,
and as such do have bad sides and rather more serious problems than the average
person, which must be taken into account—something conveniently ignored in the
Sueniverse. Also, it is now canon
that HP vampires are NOT beautiful.
Remember Sanguini? He was
emaciated, pale, and had sunken eyes, and was sort of brainless—he was ordered
around by a short little man and displayed at a party like a little
sideshow. It’s not even confirmed
that they’re immortal. They’re
definitely not wizards. Hot, huh?
But if you just can’t bring
yourself to write in a human character, at least stick to a magical being that
have a place in canon, okay?!
There is no canon precedence for harpies or Tolkien-esque elves—that
falls into the realm of crossovers or AUs, which we won’t touch with a 39 ½
foot pole. In general, if you’re
going to successfully integrate a character into the HP universe, stick to the
basics—that is, human.
14.
Is the character a hybrid between
two or more different species, or does her ancestry include one or more
different species (score every one that counts for your character)? (+500)
This is one of the biggest over-used plot points in all
Sue-dom. One might be able to pull
off the Veela angle, but it is highly doubtful. Look—demons and angels (which DO NOT MIX) are never
mentioned in J.K.’s universe, fairies and dragons are essentially animals and
we do not want to even KNOW how you managed to cross breed with the two,
TOLKEIN AND HP DON’T MIX, and the half-cat angle has been used more times than
we can count (and for no reason that we can fathom).
NEVER DO THIS!!!
Note: Half-Giant is not on this
due to the fact that there have never been half-Giant Sues or Stus—and that it
is also fairly reasonable and seemingly more common than even the Veela
angle. After all—we’ve seen two
half-Giants, and only one part-Veela.
Still—avoid interspecies relations. They are still rare, and still hard to do.
15. Is your character immortal? (+1000)
This is either a) an angst
angle, to show how your character will live forever and have to watch all her
friends and loved ones die, or b) wish fulfillment to make your character
better than everyone else. Not
only that, there isn’t anything in the HP universe that has been established as
immortal—not even vampires. As
such, the only ways to make your character immortal are to make her a
Tolkein-esque Elf, a goddess, or invent some convoluted plot to make her
such. Even horcruxes—the closest
thing you can get to immortality—have their flaws. Oh, and they are very, very bad for one’s health. In other words—don’t do this. Ever.
16.
Is your character some sort of
magical prince/princess, demigod(dess), god(dess), priest(ess), or otherwise
(semi) Divine, sacred, or royal person/being (count every one that applies)?
(+1000)
No. You may not be a god.
Nor may you be a demigod.
You can’t even be a magical princess. For one, it’s ridiculous and has nothing to do with Harry
Potter. For another, it’s the
biggest ego trip in the book.
DON’T DO IT.
17.
Is her odd
species/heritage/abilities/rank often repeated and mentioned? (+200)
This scores high for many of
the same reasons as all the questions relating to how COOL your character is,
only gets more points for hammering the readers over the head with something so
ridiculous.
18.
Does her odd
species/heritage/abilities/rank cause her to be burdened with prejudice and
scorn from all sides and/or be pursued by Dark Wizards for nefarious purposes,
but she remains strong and proud? (+500)
Same as above, only with more
points for using an utterly ridiculous plot point to invent prejudices against
your character to make her seem even better.
19.
Does your character never miss an
opportunity to tell others about her unique species/heritage/abilities/rank?
(+200)
Not only is this yet another
way to call attention to how wonderful and unique your character is (just like
all the rest of those Sues out there), it just makes your character come across
as snotty and full of herself. If
you just have to give your character some sort of nonsense power, don’t
beat us over the head with it.
20.
Does everyone think that your
character’s unique species/heritage/abilities/rank are so cool? (+200)
See Question #18, Section
#1. Only more so because it’s ridiculous.
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