Section Six
Lookit me lookit me lookit me me ME!!!
(Relatively) Mundane Special Abilities
This section is devoted to
canon abilities already mentioned and established in the Harry Potter books, or
to cultivated abilities, due to talent and/or hard work, and the like. While most of these are legitimate plot
devices and quite acceptable to use in fanfic, this is also a place where you
can be Sued in a heartbeat.
Because unfortunately, while we all wish we could do all the cool stuff
listed here, we can’t. And, as
we’ve mentioned before, Mary Sue authors seem to have serious trouble getting
around this reality issue. And, as
such, they make their character able to do EVERYTHING—which is, needless to
say, utterly ridiculous.
So, read through these
questions and ANSWER HONESTLY.
That’s what the explanations are for—don’t just assume that it doesn’t
apply to you. We have even included
some little examples for you.
1.
Is the character a legal Animagus? (+25)
While not terribly dangerous,
it has been stated that there have been only seven registered Animagi in the
last century, and only four unregistered that we know of—it obviously takes a
lot of work and intelligence, and not everyone can be one. This one is mainly a question because
it is overdone, especially in the Sueniverse. And nowhere has it been established that Animagi turn into
anything other than normal, conventional animals—turning into a unicorn or a
dragon goes against canon. And
doubly so if your character can still breathe fire when in human form. And mostly so if your character can
turn into a Mūmak or a magical lion with wings that isn’t a griffin. As always, avoid this in a character!
2.
Did the character become an Animagus
illegally, Marauders Style? (+50)
All right, now this one is
waaaaay overused. James Potter and
Sirius Black were two absolutely brilliant students. Such students are very rare. In making your character follow their path, she will
probably wind up upstaging them—again.
And the word “illegal” means
against the law! As we have seen
with Rita Skeeter, there are obviously penalties for this crime, and someone
would turn the perpetrator in.
And as for those last two questions, the explanations in Question 1
applies here too.
3.
Is the character a Metamorphmagus?
(+50)
This one is a bit tricky—J.K.
herself has provided a legitimate method for Sues to use the old
change-the-appearance angle, which is used extremely often. Which is exactly why one should not use
this. Another reason is that,
while it has not been established just how rare this ability is, it is
obviously not something you see every day. And as such, it is most unlikely that a random Joe off the
street would be one, so don’t get sucked into that trap. And one gets the impression that when
Tonks told Harry that he’d “have to learn the hard way,” she was joking—meaning
that you can’t make yourself one—you have to be born that way.
4.
Is the character a Parselmouth?
(+100)
This one is very similar to the
previous question—except that this one has been established as a very
rare ability, and very, very few people have it—one gets the impression
that even fewer people are Parselmouths than are Metamorphmagi (hence the
higher point value). Not only
that, but the ability to speak Parseltongue is often regarded as a sign of a
Dark Wizard. While we the readers
all know that it isn’t, the rest of the wizarding world doesn’t, and in making
your character a Parselmouth, you are only dragging us all through yet another
instance of where she faces prejudice for her rare abilities, but it doesn’t
stop her from holding her head high and overcoming it all. If your character is a student and owns
a snake, she’s violating the rules of Hogwarts—you can’t HAVE a snake. We already discussed exotic pets in the
previous section. And if your
character orders her snake to attack someone who’s annoying her, she’ll be
expelled. What is all boils down
to is that in giving your character this ability you’re creating just another
way to call attention to your character and show how wonderful and unique she
is—like every other Sue.
5.
Can your character see Thestrals?
(+50)
Thestrals are
only seen when the person who can see them witnesses someone die. If your character is a student, this
may be bad, considering only three people in Harry’s year have seen them. That’s not many. And if your character does nothing but
whine and wail about the death of the person that allowed her to see the Thestrals,
that’s just annoying. Avoid the
angst angle—Harry doesn’t sit and wangst about Cedric, nor does Luna wangst
about her dead mother—and we’ve never even seen Nott TALK, let alone bawl over
things. And Thestrals are not
going to lay their heads in your character’s lap. They are skeletal scavengers.
6.
Is your character badly affected by Dementors?
(+25)
Okay. Dementors are soul-sucking fiends. They eat happiness and spit out misery. It’s okay if your character is badly affected
by them. However, having your
character more affected than Harry is just another way to draw attention off of
him and to your character. Harry
hears his parents screaming and dying when the Dementors come around him. If your character was affected worse,
than that means her past is just that much more traumatic than his—meaning it’s
just an angst angle and is nothing but annoying.
Not being affected at all,
however, is bad. NO ONE can escape
the effects of a Dementor. It’s
that simple—the only way you might be able to get around that is if she manages
to use a Patronus well, but that might count for another question in this
section. And as for destroying
them…they’ve been trying for a long time.
No one knows how to destroy them—from what we’ve seen, we can’t. And it’s stated canon—once a soul is
sucked, it’s GONE. Having your
character able to destroy them and/or resoul victims is just a way to draw
attention to your character and how powerful they are and how benevolent and
kind they are, blah blah blah we’ve heard it a million times from a million
other Suethors. Don’t destroy
Dementors. Just don’t.
7.
Can your character Apparate? (+25)
Apparation
is a very handy talent that a lot of wizards have. As such, it’s only a twenty-five point question. However, it needs to be here because
Sue authors love to find ways to abuse said power. You have to be seventeen to be able to Apparate, and you
also have to have lessons before you can do it. That means it’s illegal to do it if you don’t have a license
or training. It’s a dangerous
ability—splinching and Muggle security are just two things that were in the
minds of Wizards when they made all the rules involving the ability. So just wait until your character is
seventeen—Harry did, and so can you.
What
is NOT okay about Apparation is being able to Apparate through wards. You can’t Apparate in or out of
Hogwarts, nor may you Apparate on Hogwarts grounds. It’s impossible, and you’d get seriously hurt if you tried
it. As such, Sue authors sometimes
decide to skip Apparation altogether.
It has been discovered that it is quite uncomfortable and has a lot of
dangers about it—so Sue authors just make up an ability that not only skips all
of the discomfort and rules of Apparation, but it makes their character look
better in the process!
There’s
only one technique for appearing and reappearing. That’s Apparation, and it has limits. That is what makes it believable.
8.
Is you character a Seer? (+100)
This is just another one of
those annoying, over-used plot points, which is also another one of those
annoying, over-used ways for authors to give their characters special talents
and abilities that still lie within J.K.’s universe. Throughout the course of the books we’ve gotten the
impression that True Seers are at least somewhat rare—once again, don’t go
around giving your character ten different abilities all at once, when one of
them is uncommon enough. The high
point value is due to the fact that when an author uses this one, it is
invariably used to make ridiculous sounding prophecies full of stupid double
talk and nonsensical mumbo-jumbo that the characters somehow randomly decipher
(in true fashion of Batman: the Movie) as the way to defeat
Voldemort. Trelawney is, as far as
we’ve seen, the only one to make prophecies about Voldemort’s defeat. And, incidentally, she’s only mentioned
one person in the course of said prophecies—that would be Harry.
9.
Does your character possess random
information/talents/abilities/hobbies that are integral to your plot? (+50)
We know that a character will
have something he/she is good at.
And we know that Rowling uses her character’s abilities to further the
plot—i.e. Ron in the chess match and Harry’s Seeking ability in the flying key
room in HPPS/SS. But the talents
that she uses are well established in the plot beforehand, and don’t just crop
up when the situation calls for it.
If you’re going to give your character a talent that will be useful
later on, integrate it into the story before it is needed. And don’t make it something
weird, like trying to tell your readers that the key to defeating Voldemort is
singing his song backwards, and lo and behold, your character happens to have a
gift with music and knows English in reverse!
10.
Does your character have random
information/talents/abilities/hobbies that have no bearing on the plot? (+50)
This is another one of those self-insertion
plot points. Yes, we all wish we
could do all these cool things, like play an instrument or dance like a
pro. And no, we can’t. Deal. And don’t make your reader suffer thought pointless
descriptions of all the wonderful things your character can do that you wish you
could do before resuming the main plot.
While the singing venue isn’t nearly as popular as the dancing one, they
are both equally annoying. Avoid
the singing and dancing Sue at all costs.
11.
Can your character speak another language?
(+50)
Yet another self-insertion
point. There is nothing inherently
wrong with being able to speak another language, it’s just that Mary Sues use
that angle quite often to make their character unique and intelligent. And Elvish is not spoken in the Harry
Potter world, simply because the only Elves in existence are HOUSE ELVES. If you made up the language, you need
to go sit down away from the story for a moment, then come back and replace it
with something that’s real (as, with Sue-ers, said language is usually along
the lines of this—lkhte;lkh;lksdhflsdieihg. Which, in case you hadn’t noticed, is us banging on the keys
at random—don’t do that). And if
the author actually went to the trouble of translating into another language
and putting into the story, it is a sign of expending way too much effort on
the character—which is often in itself a sign that the author is way too
wrapped up in the character, which is often the case with Mary Sues. In that case, you don’t need to put a
translation up—no sane reader will care that much about your character to
bother.
12.
Can your character fly well? (+50)
This one isn’t too big of a
deal—some people are more athletic than others. However, where this crosses the line from natural leanings
to Suedom is where she not only flies like a pro but also outflies every canon
character—particularly Harry.
While I’m sure that there are people who fly better than Harry, one must
simply be on the look out for things like these—too many of them, and your character
begins to become unrealistic—and before you know it, you’re Sued.
13.
Is she on the Quidditch team? (+25)
Here is another one of those
points that not only serves as self-insertion, but is also a way for the
character to upstage canon characters.
Because J.K. writes from Harry’s point of view, the reader has gotten
the impression that Quidditch is really great, and who are we to argue? So, okay, your character is athletic
and is on the team. No big
deal. Just be careful not to give
the character too many of this “no biggie” points, because they will add up to
a “real biggie” in the end. As
always, don’t make the character too good at what s/he does, because it
starts seeming unrealistic. And
putting your character into the star position or making him/her Captain is
another way to call attention to him/her. And that last one is just
ridiculous—it has been established that Harry is an excellent Seeker—the
only game he’s lost was due to extenuating circumstances—he’s not about to be
replaced, nor is he going to be idly beaten.
Lastly, Harry was an
EXCEPTION. EXCEPTION means
ONE. Gryffindor did not have a
Seeker at the time, and amazing circumstances allowed him to show that he had
excellent Seeking abilities and reflexes.
Your character is NOT going to get on the team as a First Year. Not even if she shows spectacular
talent at that age—she probably wouldn’t even get the chance to do so.
14.
Is your character exceptionally good
at any particular class? (+25)
Another “no biggie”
question—just be on the look out for using too many of these. Everyone has a subject in which they
excel—look at Neville. And there
are some people who really like school, are driven to succeed, or are just
really smart. It’s just that Mary
Sues are often all of the above, coupled with about twenty more
talents/abilities, which makes for an unrealistic character. However, the other two bonuses are
simply not to be done. For one,
Hermione excels at Potions. Snape
does not constantly try to sabotage her work and make her look stupid. He LIKES good work, and ignoring you is
the best compliment he can give.
The reason he’s so cranky to Neville is because he’s incompetent in
Potions. He would not be all
furious at your character if she did well in his class. And if your character makes a fool of
Professor Severus Snape in front of a bunch of students…well, we don’t think
she’s going to live to see the next class if she does.
And Snape hates everyone. He doesn’t like your character, he
doesn’t like her spectacular potions abilities, and he doesn’t like her being
smug. Hermione is an excellent
potions brewer—Snape ignores her, with the occasional insult thrown in for good
measure. He wouldn’t pay special
attention to your character.
15.
Is your character extremely bad at
any particular class? (+25)
This one is one of those
faux-flaws, and is addressed here because so many Sues use this one in
particular. And they usually overcome
the fact that it’s a flaw by making it “funny” and “cute,” not to mention a
vehicle for the character to be tutored in the subject by the object of their
affections (including the teacher).
Potions is usually a convenient subject because Harry is bad at it, and
the character’s failure can be chalked up as Snape’s fault, which means that it
isn’t a flaw at all, but rather yet another oppression for the character to
deal with. And making the
character experience anything that a canon character does, only worse, is
classic Mary Sue.
16.
Is your character an exceptional
chess player? (+50)
Here is another one of those
points used to steal the limelight from a canon character and transfer it to
yours. Being an exceptional chess
player isn’t too dangerous, although its rather random nature lends itself to
Sue-dom. But, hey, now—it has been
well established that Ron is an outstanding chess player. He beat McGonagall’s chess set at
age twelve! The kid’s
practically the next Bobby Fisher!
So don’t go stealing his minor victories—the kid’s insecure enough as it
is, what with being branded “Harry Potter’s Sidekick.”
17.
Is your character an exceptional
duelist? (+50)
Again, no big deal—just don’t
go stacking up too many of these abilities. Individually, they’re harmless. In packs, they’re the kiss of Sue. However, the three bonuses should be avoided. To have your character constantly
getting the better of her enemies is a sure sign of Suedom, as is the dueling
with powerful individuals. All
your character is doing is showing off.
And we know of only two people
who have ever dueled with Voldemort and lived. One of the times was a stroke of luck. The other was against an equal
opponent. Don’t have your
character duel with that guy. He’d
smite her before she could draw her wand.
18.
Is your character immune to spells?
(+100)
Spell immunity is something that,
in the Harry Potter reality, doesn’t exist. The closest things you can get are a) the ability to block
the curse very quickly, b) the ability to fight it off, or c) the ability to
resist it, and this has to be in your blood, i.e., half-Giants (and we have
seen no Suethors use a half-Giant angle, unsurprisingly). The second possibility is indeed canon
with the Imperius curse. Harry can
fight it off quite admirably.
However, this is not something everyone knows how to do, obviously. Having your character able to do it
really just sets you up for more canon character theft, and that is bad.
However, immunity to the other
two curses—ESPECIALLY Avada Kedavra—is NOT CANON. The only way to not get affected by Crucio
is to dodge or put up a very strong shield, and the only way to avoid Avada
Kedavra is to duck or hide behind something very solid. The Imperius is the ONLY ONE people can
fight. THE ONLY ONE. The others can affect anyone and
everyone. DO NOT MAKE YOUR
CHARACTER IMMUNE TO THESE SPELLS.
19.
Does your character know advanced
magic? (+50)
This is a rather touchy
subject. Yes, it is possible for
students to know advanced magic for their age. Look at the Marauders and their Animagus abilities. Hell, look at Harry and his
Patronus. As always, however,
there can always be too much of a good thing. If your character is a Muggleborn, chances are she’s not
going to know advanced magic in her First Year. If she shows up her enemies with all her abilities, that’s
just showing off and is self-insertion.
If she taught herself how to do whatever she does, it’s a combination of
her showing off and upstaging the canon characters—again. And that last point scores high because
it’s ridiculous and NOT CANON.
20.
Is your character especially adept
at nonverbal spells? (+100)
Unless you’re talented, this is
obviously a fairly difficult ability to master. They save it until Sixth Year to begin teaching students how
to do this—your character won’t be able to do it in her first year. It is necessary to emphasize that,
obviously, they teach abilities in a certain order because you have to learn in
steps. You can’t learn nonverbal
spells first, and then start on verbal.
Stick to the school curriculum—they know what they’re doing.
21.
Does your character know all of the
spells that the Half-Blood Prince invented? (+300)
This is a little
ridiculous. While some of the
spells obviously got out into the open, it’s obvious that the majority of them
stayed in that book. Your character
is not going to know all of those spells.
22.
Whenever your character is angry or
under extreme duress, does magic ripple, do torches flare, does the earth
tremble, and/or does lightning strike? (+300)
This is nothing but your
character screaming, “I AM SUE, HEAR ME ROAR!!!!” This doesn’t happen.
Accidental magic due to anger or stress is NEVER that extreme. To have all the torches around your
character suddenly flare up, or to have magic ripple and make people fall over
or to have earthquakes happen is stupid and just a way to make your character
seem great and powerful.
23.
Does your character know Occlumency
and Legilimancy? (+100)
Occlumency and Legilimancy are
very, VERY advanced magic. As
such, they are difficult to learn.
It’s canon that not very many people can use both expertly. It’s even more ridiculous if your
character can do them if she’s young.
It’s ADVANCED. Harry didn’t
even get the hang of it, and he’s a powerful young wizard.
We’d like to point out that
Occlumency and Legilimancy are NOT mind reading. Snape said so, and if he says it’s true, it’s true,
okay? It’s not mind reading.
And speaking of Snape…if he can
keep VOLDEMORT and/or DUMBLEDORE out of his mind, do you really think YOUR
character can rat around in his head?!
And again, speaking of Voldemort…don’t. Just don’t. No. Voldemort
would KNOW.
24.
Does your character have talents
that she manages to get into the school curriculum through much whining—sorry, striving
(singing; ANY FORM OF ART; Telepathy, etc.)? (+100)
Hogwarts teaches magic,
okay? They’ve taught nothing but
magic for the past millennium. We
don’t think that some random character is going to miraculously bring about a
curriculum change in seven years or less.
Also, your character is not going to be allowed to teach anybody
anything that is on the official school curriculum if she is only a
student. Don’t try it.
And that whole dancing
thing? It’s one of the worst forms
of showing how wonderful the Sue is.
It is also the most ridiculous one to put into Hogwarts.
25.
Does she have a knack for martial
arts or any other kind of fighting techniques that are not part of curriculum
or job training (fencing, medieval weaponry, kung-fu, tai-bo, feng shui, etc.)?
(+200)
Here’s one of those abilities
that really has no place in HP fandom.
The students are kids, so it is doubtful that they’ll be really any good
at this sort of thing. And while
we’re sure that aurors and such do have defensive training of sorts, we suspect
that it is much more magically oriented—never bring a sword to a wizard’s duel.
26.
Does your character use the above on
any of the canon characters and puts him/her in their place? (+50)
Here’s a self-insertion
issue. As in above sections, when
someone gets our goat, we briefly imagine bustin’ some moves on their mushy
butt, and then we move on. Yes, we
would all wish to beat up someone who annoys us without sustaining a scratch or
breaking a sweat. But that rarely
happens, so don’t go putting it into the story. Don’t try to tell us that your character gets sick of Snape
picking on her or her friends (Harry) and promptly karates his ass. And especially don’t try to make
us believe that one of the greatest and most terrible dark wizards of all time
would allow himself to be sucker-punched.
27.
Does your character find a way to
bring Muggle technology to Hogwarts? (+50)
It has been stated in Hogwarts,
a History—the bible of all things Hogwarts—that Muggle technology simply
does not work at Hogwarts. In
changing this, you are violating canon.
Don’t.
28.
Does everyone think that all the
things that your character can do are so cool? (+100)
See Question #18, Section #1.
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