Section Six

 

Lookit me lookit me lookit me me ME!!!

 

(Relatively) Mundane Special Abilities

 

Total points: 16300

 

This section is devoted to canon abilities already mentioned and established in the Harry Potter books, or to cultivated abilities, due to talent and/or hard work, and the like.  While most of these are legitimate plot devices and quite acceptable to use in fanfic, this is also a place where you can be Sued in a heartbeat.  Because unfortunately, while we all wish we could do all the cool stuff listed here, we can’t.  And, as we’ve mentioned before, Mary Sue authors seem to have serious trouble getting around this reality issue.  And, as such, they make their character able to do EVERYTHING—which is, needless to say, utterly ridiculous.

So, read through these questions and ANSWER HONESTLY.   That’s what the explanations are for—don’t just assume that it doesn’t apply to you.  We have even included some little examples for you.

 

1.            Is the character a legal Animagus? (+25)

            Bonus:   +200 if your character’s Animagus form is some sort of magical beast, complete with magical powers/abilities of said beast

                        +300 if your character possesses the magical powers/abilities of said beast when not in Animagus form

                        +500 if your character’s Animagus is some sort of made up beast, or a beast from another canon

 

While not terribly dangerous, it has been stated that there have been only seven registered Animagi in the last century, and only four unregistered that we know of—it obviously takes a lot of work and intelligence, and not everyone can be one.  This one is mainly a question because it is overdone, especially in the Sueniverse.  And nowhere has it been established that Animagi turn into anything other than normal, conventional animals—turning into a unicorn or a dragon goes against canon.  And doubly so if your character can still breathe fire when in human form.  And mostly so if your character can turn into a Mūmak or a magical lion with wings that isn’t a griffin.  As always, avoid this in a character!

 

2.          Did the character become an Animagus illegally, Marauders Style? (+50)

            Bonus:   +100 if she flaunts this and no one seems to be turning her in

                        +200 if your character’s Animagus form is some sort of magical beast, complete with magical powers/abilities of said beast

                        +300 if your character possesses the magical powers/abilities of said beast when not in Animagus form

                        +500 if your character’s Animagus is some sort of made up beast, or a beast from another canon

 

All right, now this one is waaaaay overused.  James Potter and Sirius Black were two absolutely brilliant students.  Such students are very rare.  In making your character follow their path, she will probably wind up upstaging them—again. 

And the word “illegal” means against the law!  As we have seen with Rita Skeeter, there are obviously penalties for this crime, and someone would turn the perpetrator in.   And as for those last two questions, the explanations in Question 1 applies here too.

 

3.          Is the character a Metamorphmagus? (+50)

            Bonus:   +200 if she taught herself/made herself into one

 

This one is a bit tricky—J.K. herself has provided a legitimate method for Sues to use the old change-the-appearance angle, which is used extremely often.  Which is exactly why one should not use this.  Another reason is that, while it has not been established just how rare this ability is, it is obviously not something you see every day.  And as such, it is most unlikely that a random Joe off the street would be one, so don’t get sucked into that trap.  And one gets the impression that when Tonks told Harry that he’d “have to learn the hard way,” she was joking—meaning that you can’t make yourself one—you have to be born that way.

 

4.          Is the character a Parselmouth? (+100)

            Bonus:   +100 if the ability causes her prejudice from all sides

                        +100 if she owns a snake and talks to it regularly

                        +100 if she doesn’t own a snake, but interacts with them often

                        +100 if she sets said snake(s) on anyone

 

This one is very similar to the previous question—except that this one has been established as a very rare ability, and very, very few people have it—one gets the impression that even fewer people are Parselmouths than are Metamorphmagi (hence the higher point value).  Not only that, but the ability to speak Parseltongue is often regarded as a sign of a Dark Wizard.  While we the readers all know that it isn’t, the rest of the wizarding world doesn’t, and in making your character a Parselmouth, you are only dragging us all through yet another instance of where she faces prejudice for her rare abilities, but it doesn’t stop her from holding her head high and overcoming it all.  If your character is a student and owns a snake, she’s violating the rules of Hogwarts—you can’t HAVE a snake.  We already discussed exotic pets in the previous section.  And if your character orders her snake to attack someone who’s annoying her, she’ll be expelled.  What is all boils down to is that in giving your character this ability you’re creating just another way to call attention to your character and show how wonderful and unique she is—like every other Sue.

 

5.          Can your character see Thestrals? (+50)

            Bonus:   +100 if your character constantly bemoans the unfortunate event that allowed her to see Thestrals

                        +100 if she interacts well with them and/or spends time with them

 

Thestrals are only seen when the person who can see them witnesses someone die.  If your character is a student, this may be bad, considering only three people in Harry’s year have seen them.  That’s not many.  And if your character does nothing but whine and wail about the death of the person that allowed her to see the Thestrals, that’s just annoying.  Avoid the angst angle—Harry doesn’t sit and wangst about Cedric, nor does Luna wangst about her dead mother—and we’ve never even seen Nott TALK, let alone bawl over things.  And Thestrals are not going to lay their heads in your character’s lap.  They are skeletal scavengers.

 

6.          Is your character badly affected by Dementors? (+25)

            Bonus:   +100 if s/he is affect worse than Harry is

                        +150 if she isn’t affected at all

                        +300 if she can destroy/ward off Dementors with some weird and/or unknown magic

                        +500 if she can destroy destroy/ward off Dementors with some weird and/or unknown magic and “resoul” their victims

 

Okay.  Dementors are soul-sucking fiends.  They eat happiness and spit out misery.  It’s okay if your character is badly affected by them.  However, having your character more affected than Harry is just another way to draw attention off of him and to your character.  Harry hears his parents screaming and dying when the Dementors come around him.  If your character was affected worse, than that means her past is just that much more traumatic than his—meaning it’s just an angst angle and is nothing but annoying.

Not being affected at all, however, is bad.  NO ONE can escape the effects of a Dementor.  It’s that simple—the only way you might be able to get around that is if she manages to use a Patronus well, but that might count for another question in this section.  And as for destroying them…they’ve been trying for a long time.  No one knows how to destroy them—from what we’ve seen, we can’t.  And it’s stated canon—once a soul is sucked, it’s GONE.  Having your character able to destroy them and/or resoul victims is just a way to draw attention to your character and how powerful they are and how benevolent and kind they are, blah blah blah we’ve heard it a million times from a million other Suethors.  Don’t destroy Dementors.  Just don’t.

 

7.          Can your character Apparate? (+25)

            Bonus:   +50 if your character is underage and/or doesn’t have a license

                        +100 if she doesn’t get into any trouble

                        +200 if she can Apparate past wards and shields and spells

                        +300 if she doesn’t Apparate at all, but can do some kind of bizarre magic that is infinitely superior to Apparation (Orbing, Teleporting, etc.)

                        +200 if she taught herself

 

Apparation is a very handy talent that a lot of wizards have.  As such, it’s only a twenty-five point question.  However, it needs to be here because Sue authors love to find ways to abuse said power.  You have to be seventeen to be able to Apparate, and you also have to have lessons before you can do it.  That means it’s illegal to do it if you don’t have a license or training.  It’s a dangerous ability—splinching and Muggle security are just two things that were in the minds of Wizards when they made all the rules involving the ability.  So just wait until your character is seventeen—Harry did, and so can you.

What is NOT okay about Apparation is being able to Apparate through wards.  You can’t Apparate in or out of Hogwarts, nor may you Apparate on Hogwarts grounds.  It’s impossible, and you’d get seriously hurt if you tried it.  As such, Sue authors sometimes decide to skip Apparation altogether.  It has been discovered that it is quite uncomfortable and has a lot of dangers about it—so Sue authors just make up an ability that not only skips all of the discomfort and rules of Apparation, but it makes their character look better in the process!

There’s only one technique for appearing and reappearing.  That’s Apparation, and it has limits.  That is what makes it believable.

 

8.          Is you character a Seer? (+100)

            Bonus:   +200 if the character makes any sort of prophecy about how Harry is to defeat Voldemort

                        +1000 if the character makes any sort of prophecy about how she herself is to defeat Voldemort

 

This is just another one of those annoying, over-used plot points, which is also another one of those annoying, over-used ways for authors to give their characters special talents and abilities that still lie within J.K.’s universe.  Throughout the course of the books we’ve gotten the impression that True Seers are at least somewhat rare—once again, don’t go around giving your character ten different abilities all at once, when one of them is uncommon enough.  The high point value is due to the fact that when an author uses this one, it is invariably used to make ridiculous sounding prophecies full of stupid double talk and nonsensical mumbo-jumbo that the characters somehow randomly decipher (in true fashion of Batman: the Movie) as the way to defeat Voldemort.  Trelawney is, as far as we’ve seen, the only one to make prophecies about Voldemort’s defeat.  And, incidentally, she’s only mentioned one person in the course of said prophecies—that would be Harry.

 

9.          Does your character possess random information/talents/abilities/hobbies that are integral to your plot? (+50)

 

We know that a character will have something he/she is good at.  And we know that Rowling uses her character’s abilities to further the plot—i.e. Ron in the chess match and Harry’s Seeking ability in the flying key room in HPPS/SS.  But the talents that she uses are well established in the plot beforehand, and don’t just crop up when the situation calls for it.  If you’re going to give your character a talent that will be useful later on, integrate it into the story before it is needed.  And don’t make it something weird, like trying to tell your readers that the key to defeating Voldemort is singing his song backwards, and lo and behold, your character happens to have a gift with music and knows English in reverse!

 

10.      Does your character have random information/talents/abilities/hobbies that have no bearing on the plot? (+50)

            Bonus:   +100 if your character sings exceptionally well

                        +200 if your character dances exceptionally well

                        +100 if they are often discussed, exhibited, and/or praised

 

This is another one of those self-insertion plot points.  Yes, we all wish we could do all these cool things, like play an instrument or dance like a pro.  And no, we can’t.  Deal.  And don’t make your reader suffer thought pointless descriptions of all the wonderful things your character can do that you wish you could do before resuming the main plot.  While the singing venue isn’t nearly as popular as the dancing one, they are both equally annoying.  Avoid the singing and dancing Sue at all costs.

 

11.       Can your character speak another language? (+50)

            Bonus:   +200 if said language is Elvish

                        +200 if it’s a language unique to another fandom

                        +300 if it’s a language you just made up

                        +100 if she often speaks the other language in the course of the story

                        +100 if the other language is correctly written out and you leave author’s notes with translations of what she said

                        +200 if she taught herself

 

Yet another self-insertion point.  There is nothing inherently wrong with being able to speak another language, it’s just that Mary Sues use that angle quite often to make their character unique and intelligent.  And Elvish is not spoken in the Harry Potter world, simply because the only Elves in existence are HOUSE ELVES.  If you made up the language, you need to go sit down away from the story for a moment, then come back and replace it with something that’s real (as, with Sue-ers, said language is usually along the lines of this—lkhte;lkh;lksdhflsdieihg.  Which, in case you hadn’t noticed, is us banging on the keys at random—don’t do that).  And if the author actually went to the trouble of translating into another language and putting into the story, it is a sign of expending way too much effort on the character—which is often in itself a sign that the author is way too wrapped up in the character, which is often the case with Mary Sues.  In that case, you don’t need to put a translation up—no sane reader will care that much about your character to bother.

 

12.      Can your character fly well? (+50)

            Bonus:   +100 if she flies better than Harry

                        +100 if she flies better than everyone

 

This one isn’t too big of a deal—some people are more athletic than others.  However, where this crosses the line from natural leanings to Suedom is where she not only flies like a pro but also outflies every canon character—particularly Harry.  While I’m sure that there are people who fly better than Harry, one must simply be on the look out for things like these—too many of them, and your character begins to become unrealistic—and before you know it, you’re Sued.

 

13.      Is she on the Quidditch team? (+25)

            Bonus:   +50 if she is an exceptional player

                        +50 if she is Seeker and/or Captain

                        +100 if she got there because she replaced Harry as the Gryffindor Seeker and he accepted that the new student was better than he

                        +150 if she regularly beats everyone (including Harry) to the Snitch if Seeker on another team

                        +200 if she gets on the team as a First Year

 

Here is another one of those points that not only serves as self-insertion, but is also a way for the character to upstage canon characters.  Because J.K. writes from Harry’s point of view, the reader has gotten the impression that Quidditch is really great, and who are we to argue?  So, okay, your character is athletic and is on the team.  No big deal.  Just be careful not to give the character too many of this “no biggie” points, because they will add up to a “real biggie” in the end.  As always, don’t make the character too good at what s/he does, because it starts seeming unrealistic.  And putting your character into the star position or making him/her Captain is another way to call attention to him/her. And that last one is just ridiculous—it has been established that Harry is an excellent Seeker—the only game he’s lost was due to extenuating circumstances—he’s not about to be replaced, nor is he going to be idly beaten.

Lastly, Harry was an EXCEPTION.  EXCEPTION means ONE.  Gryffindor did not have a Seeker at the time, and amazing circumstances allowed him to show that he had excellent Seeking abilities and reflexes.  Your character is NOT going to get on the team as a First Year.  Not even if she shows spectacular talent at that age—she probably wouldn’t even get the chance to do so.

 

14.      Is your character exceptionally good at any particular class? (+25)

            Bonus:   +50 if all of them

                        +50 if it’s Potions

                        +100 if Snape attempts to outsmart her and make her fail

                        +200 if she foils him and makes a fool of him in front of the whole class

                        +300 if, instead of being angry with her ability to answer all his questions, thinks she’s magnificent and treats her differently than the rest of the class

 

Another “no biggie” question—just be on the look out for using too many of these.  Everyone has a subject in which they excel—look at Neville.  And there are some people who really like school, are driven to succeed, or are just really smart.  It’s just that Mary Sues are often all of the above, coupled with about twenty more talents/abilities, which makes for an unrealistic character.  However, the other two bonuses are simply not to be done.  For one, Hermione excels at Potions.  Snape does not constantly try to sabotage her work and make her look stupid.  He LIKES good work, and ignoring you is the best compliment he can give.  The reason he’s so cranky to Neville is because he’s incompetent in Potions.  He would not be all furious at your character if she did well in his class.  And if your character makes a fool of Professor Severus Snape in front of a bunch of students…well, we don’t think she’s going to live to see the next class if she does. 

And Snape hates everyone.  He doesn’t like your character, he doesn’t like her spectacular potions abilities, and he doesn’t like her being smug.  Hermione is an excellent potions brewer—Snape ignores her, with the occasional insult thrown in for good measure.  He wouldn’t pay special attention to your character.

 

15.      Is your character extremely bad at any particular class? (+25)

            Bonus:   +50 if all of them

                        +100 if it’s Potions

                        +150 if Snape picks on her incompetence more than Neville’s

 

This one is one of those faux-flaws, and is addressed here because so many Sues use this one in particular.  And they usually overcome the fact that it’s a flaw by making it “funny” and “cute,” not to mention a vehicle for the character to be tutored in the subject by the object of their affections (including the teacher).  Potions is usually a convenient subject because Harry is bad at it, and the character’s failure can be chalked up as Snape’s fault, which means that it isn’t a flaw at all, but rather yet another oppression for the character to deal with.  And making the character experience anything that a canon character does, only worse, is classic Mary Sue.

 

16.      Is your character an exceptional chess player? (+50)

            Bonus:   +50 if she regularly beats/is better than Ron

                        +200 if she taught herself

 

Here is another one of those points used to steal the limelight from a canon character and transfer it to yours.  Being an exceptional chess player isn’t too dangerous, although its rather random nature lends itself to Sue-dom.  But, hey, now—it has been well established that Ron is an outstanding chess player.  He beat McGonagall’s chess set at age twelve!  The kid’s practically the next Bobby Fisher!  So don’t go stealing his minor victories—the kid’s insecure enough as it is, what with being branded “Harry Potter’s Sidekick.” 

 

17.      Is your character an exceptional duelist? (+50)

            Bonus:   +100 if she shows up her petty enemies with this ability

                        +100 if she duels with exceptionally powerful individuals

                        +200 if she duels with Lord Voldemort

                        +200 if she taught herself

 

Again, no big deal—just don’t go stacking up too many of these abilities.  Individually, they’re harmless.  In packs, they’re the kiss of Sue.  However, the three bonuses should be avoided.  To have your character constantly getting the better of her enemies is a sure sign of Suedom, as is the dueling with powerful individuals.  All your character is doing is showing off.

And we know of only two people who have ever dueled with Voldemort and lived.  One of the times was a stroke of luck.  The other was against an equal opponent.  Don’t have your character duel with that guy.  He’d smite her before she could draw her wand.

 

18.      Is your character immune to spells? (+100)

            Bonus:   +100 if she is immune to the Imperius curse

                        +200 if she is immune to the Cruciatus curse

                        +300 if she is immune to the Killing curse

                        +500 if she is immune to all three Unforgivables

 

Spell immunity is something that, in the Harry Potter reality, doesn’t exist.  The closest things you can get are a) the ability to block the curse very quickly, b) the ability to fight it off, or c) the ability to resist it, and this has to be in your blood, i.e., half-Giants (and we have seen no Suethors use a half-Giant angle, unsurprisingly).  The second possibility is indeed canon with the Imperius curse.  Harry can fight it off quite admirably.  However, this is not something everyone knows how to do, obviously.  Having your character able to do it really just sets you up for more canon character theft, and that is bad.

However, immunity to the other two curses—ESPECIALLY Avada Kedavra—is NOT CANON.  The only way to not get affected by Crucio is to dodge or put up a very strong shield, and the only way to avoid Avada Kedavra is to duck or hide behind something very solid.  The Imperius is the ONLY ONE people can fight.  THE ONLY ONE.  The others can affect anyone and everyone.  DO NOT MAKE YOUR CHARACTER IMMUNE TO THESE SPELLS.

 

19.      Does your character know advanced magic? (+50)

            Bonus:   +100 if she is very young

                        +100 if she shows up her enemies with it

                        +200 if she taught herself

                        +300 if it is some bizarre/unique/unknown/non-canonical magic that no one has ever heard of

 

This is a rather touchy subject.  Yes, it is possible for students to know advanced magic for their age.  Look at the Marauders and their Animagus abilities.  Hell, look at Harry and his Patronus.  As always, however, there can always be too much of a good thing.  If your character is a Muggleborn, chances are she’s not going to know advanced magic in her First Year.  If she shows up her enemies with all her abilities, that’s just showing off and is self-insertion.  If she taught herself how to do whatever she does, it’s a combination of her showing off and upstaging the canon characters—again.  And that last point scores high because it’s ridiculous and NOT CANON.

 

20.    Is your character especially adept at nonverbal spells? (+100)

            Bonus:   +200 if she’s younger than a sixth year

                        +200 if she taught herself

 

Unless you’re talented, this is obviously a fairly difficult ability to master.  They save it until Sixth Year to begin teaching students how to do this—your character won’t be able to do it in her first year.  It is necessary to emphasize that, obviously, they teach abilities in a certain order because you have to learn in steps.  You can’t learn nonverbal spells first, and then start on verbal.  Stick to the school curriculum—they know what they’re doing.

 

21.      Does your character know all of the spells that the Half-Blood Prince invented? (+300)

 

This is a little ridiculous.  While some of the spells obviously got out into the open, it’s obvious that the majority of them stayed in that book.  Your character is not going to know all of those spells. 

 

22.    Whenever your character is angry or under extreme duress, does magic ripple, do torches flare, does the earth tremble, and/or does lightning strike? (+300)

 

This is nothing but your character screaming, “I AM SUE, HEAR ME ROAR!!!!”  This doesn’t happen.  Accidental magic due to anger or stress is NEVER that extreme.  To have all the torches around your character suddenly flare up, or to have magic ripple and make people fall over or to have earthquakes happen is stupid and just a way to make your character seem great and powerful.

 

23.    Does your character know Occlumency and Legilimancy? (+100)

            Bonus:   +200 if she is very young

                        +200 if she uses it like it’s mind-reading/Star Trek style telepathy or empathy

                        +300 if she pries around in Snape’s mind

                        +500 if she pries around in Voldemort’s mind

                        +200 if she taught herself

 

Occlumency and Legilimancy are very, VERY advanced magic.  As such, they are difficult to learn.  It’s canon that not very many people can use both expertly.  It’s even more ridiculous if your character can do them if she’s young.  It’s ADVANCED.  Harry didn’t even get the hang of it, and he’s a powerful young wizard. 

We’d like to point out that Occlumency and Legilimancy are NOT mind reading.  Snape said so, and if he says it’s true, it’s true, okay?  It’s not mind reading.

And speaking of Snape…if he can keep VOLDEMORT and/or DUMBLEDORE out of his mind, do you really think YOUR character can rat around in his head?!

And again, speaking of Voldemort…don’t.  Just don’t.  No.  Voldemort would KNOW.

 

24.    Does your character have talents that she manages to get into the school curriculum through much whining—sorry, striving (singing; ANY FORM OF ART; Telepathy, etc.)? (+100)

            Bonus:   +100 if your character teaches the class

                        +200 if she is still a student

                        +100 if the class is some form of strange and otherwise unheard of magic

                        +200 if the class is some form of dancing

 

Hogwarts teaches magic, okay?  They’ve taught nothing but magic for the past millennium.  We don’t think that some random character is going to miraculously bring about a curriculum change in seven years or less.  Also, your character is not going to be allowed to teach anybody anything that is on the official school curriculum if she is only a student.  Don’t try it.

And that whole dancing thing?  It’s one of the worst forms of showing how wonderful the Sue is.  It is also the most ridiculous one to put into Hogwarts.

 

25.    Does she have a knack for martial arts or any other kind of fighting techniques that are not part of curriculum or job training (fencing, medieval weaponry, kung-fu, tai-bo, feng shui, etc.)? (+200)

            Bonus:   +200 if you precisely describe each move she can do in her fighting technique

 

Here’s one of those abilities that really has no place in HP fandom.  The students are kids, so it is doubtful that they’ll be really any good at this sort of thing.  And while we’re sure that aurors and such do have defensive training of sorts, we suspect that it is much more magically oriented—never bring a sword to a wizard’s duel.

 

26.    Does your character use the above on any of the canon characters and puts him/her in their place? (+50)

            Bonus:   +50 if it’s Draco or Lucius Malfoy

                        +100 if it’s Snape

                        +200 if it’s Voldemort and/or his toadies

 

Here’s a self-insertion issue.  As in above sections, when someone gets our goat, we briefly imagine bustin’ some moves on their mushy butt, and then we move on.  Yes, we would all wish to beat up someone who annoys us without sustaining a scratch or breaking a sweat.  But that rarely happens, so don’t go putting it into the story.  Don’t try to tell us that your character gets sick of Snape picking on her or her friends (Harry) and promptly karates his ass.  And especially don’t try to make us believe that one of the greatest and most terrible dark wizards of all time would allow himself to be sucker-punched.

 

27.    Does your character find a way to bring Muggle technology to Hogwarts? (+50)

 

It has been stated in Hogwarts, a History—the bible of all things Hogwarts—that Muggle technology simply does not work at Hogwarts.  In changing this, you are violating canon.  Don’t.

 

28.    Does everyone think that all the things that your character can do are so cool? (+100)

 

See Question #18, Section #1.

 

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